Post by Sam Washington on Aug 23, 2016 6:57:49 GMT
The shower is at full blast with the searing heat misting up the walls and the whole bathroom. The sounds of hard scrubbing can be heard along with the water crashing onto the shower floor and descending down the plug. Gentle knocks from the door can be heard along with a muzzled voice trying to make contact with someone. The knocks get louder and louder as the sound of scrubbing gets louder too. The focus soon reveals a naked Sam in the bathtub scrubbing himself so hard that the skin is red raw in sum places. As his hair slumps over thanks to the blast of ongoing water falling on top of him, Sam appears vulnerable as he wipes away tears.
SW: Still not clean! Still not clean! Stink of failure still reeks!
He continues to vigorously wash himself before the knocks get to their loudest.
BANG BANG BANG
SW: I still smell like a Mexican! Scrub harder!
The door smashes open wide to the point the hinges come off. A very angry and frustrated Mrs Washington storms in and looks at Sam with Fury.
SW: Don’t look at me sugar bean!
Mrs: Sam you get your fat ass out of this shower now! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING TO TAKE A SHIT? DO YOU?!
SW: But I need cleaned!
Mrs: The only cleaning that will need doing will be me mopping the blood from stabbing your fat ass into a casket! Now grow your balls back and get the fuck out!!!!
Sam puts his head down and reluctantly turns the shower off.
Later on with the wife now much calmer, the pair of them are in the kitchen discussing Eternal Luchas outcome and Sams failure to win the big one. He sips his cup of coffee from a mug depicting the statue of Liberty as he continues to moan.
SW: Have you ever expected big things to come? Like FINALLY your moment in the sun is imminent, and then all of a sudden you are met with massive disappointment?
Mrs: Yes.
SW: Really?
Mrs: When I married your fat ass!
Sam brushes off his wifes comments.
SW: That old motherfucker cost me my moment! That bitch would not have won the belt if it wasn’t for her!
Mrs: Or maybe you just sucked that night?
SW: Or maybe the filthy Mexicans stealing our jobs and our money made me suck that night!
Mrs: Look at me now mister! I am not having an oversized baby the size of the Grand Canyon in this house! With your whining it’s like you’re having a fucking period! I look like I have bigger balls than you!
SW: Oh do-
Mrs: Make one cuss at me and I swear to god the one with the biggest pair of anything will be me! You may have had a good run at your wrassling, but Sam don’t you forget that I will fucking kill you if you even try!
Sam moans and murmurs to himself before finishing off his coffee and looking out on his lawn. He mulls over his next moves for the future as his wife slowly comes over and comforts his shoulder.
Mrs: Do something about it. Or else your ass is on the couch!
She leaves him to think before Sam looks around for moments of inspiration. He shakes his head as his body is still banged up from the epic battle he and La Cucaracha had at Eternal Lucha. He looks around before bending on his knees and beginning a prayer in front of a picture.
SW: All saviour, high and mighty. What do I do in this hour? I need guidance!”
The whole room goes quiet as Sam continues to have his head down.
“Well for starters stop treating me like I am god!”
Sams eyes widen open before slowly leaning up to reveal his proud portrait of George W Bush is alive talking to him.
SW: George! You’re here to help me!
George’s face begins to turn sour.
“No you stupid idiot you have a concussion! You’re hallucinating me!”
SW: Oh….Well you’re here so it must be a sign!
“It really isn’t. You need medical help.”
SW: I remember when those foreign fuckers tried to mess with you and instead of buckling from the pressure of the world, you gave them a massiv FUCK YOU and bombed Iraq and Afghanistan, and look how they are now!!
“Yes……”
SW: Maybe that’s what I need to do too! I shouldn’t be sad I should be mad! That old motherfucker cost me my dream and should I let him get away with it? HELL FUCKING NO! I need to retaliate with heavy artillery and blast him out of site like how you heroically did with the Taliban and Saddam! I need to show the whole world that Big Sam is still the American War Machine!
“Well good for you.”
SW: Thanks George, you’re the best!
“Better than what you have to offer this November!
"
SW: Ha! Trump will win!
“Oh and Sam?”
SW: Yes George?
George looks at him straight in the eyes with a serious face.
“Get your ass to hospital. I mean really…now.”
The conversation abruptly ends and the focus is now on Sams wife calling 911 as she finds him laying giggling on the floor with his eyes dazed.
As they rush Sam to hospital. He continues to giggle and speak like he is from another planet. They can’t make no sense as they take him in for emergency checks of his head. His wife holds his hand firmly as they take him in the ward.
Mrs: Oh baby I’m sorry for earlier! We’ll get you back in no time!
SW:….El Torro….
Mrs: What hubby?
SW: El Torro!
Mrs: Oh gawd he’s speaking Spanish! I knew he wasn’t well!
SW (dazed and slurred): I have to beat El Torro!
…
Mrs: We need a concussion test pronto doc!
….
So all of you are laughing I bet!
Oh look at Sam getting beat by a Lucha girl!
Well I didn’t lose clean to her because some old prick decided to disrespect me and interfere in my match and cost me my dream of winning the gold in behind enemy lines!
And it makes me fucking sick!
Do you seriously think Ramon that you have it anymore? You don’t! You got fucking lucky! And here we are in a no fear match where anything goes. You’re going to regret trying to mess with me!
No holds barred, falls count anywhere! You will be tortured and twisted like a fat American eating a fajita wrap! And you deserve it all!
You won’t have anyone to save you this time. Heck I don’t even need the Ultras out here to help me. You can’t wrestle anymore. You need a walking stick to get around old man!
It’ll be like taking candy from an illegal baby!
And then once I am done with you. I am coming for the Rey De Reyes champion whoever it may be! Because I am the most lethal wrestler in Guerreros of Lucha today!
I am the most vicious motherfucker that anyone has seen since this promotion started!
I am The American War Machine!
And I’m going for anyone trying to stop me and the proud working Americans who make this country great!
This is our time now, not that flippy do Mexicans time.
La Cucaracha, Senior Awesomeo. Watch as I end the life and put “El Torro” to sleep for good! And Sawtooth grin, whoever the fuck you are. You better watch too in case you try and step in my way.
This is not the end folks.
…
This is Americas beginning!
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
SW: Still not clean! Still not clean! Stink of failure still reeks!
He continues to vigorously wash himself before the knocks get to their loudest.
BANG BANG BANG
SW: I still smell like a Mexican! Scrub harder!
The door smashes open wide to the point the hinges come off. A very angry and frustrated Mrs Washington storms in and looks at Sam with Fury.
SW: Don’t look at me sugar bean!
Mrs: Sam you get your fat ass out of this shower now! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING TO TAKE A SHIT? DO YOU?!
SW: But I need cleaned!
Mrs: The only cleaning that will need doing will be me mopping the blood from stabbing your fat ass into a casket! Now grow your balls back and get the fuck out!!!!
Sam puts his head down and reluctantly turns the shower off.
Later on with the wife now much calmer, the pair of them are in the kitchen discussing Eternal Luchas outcome and Sams failure to win the big one. He sips his cup of coffee from a mug depicting the statue of Liberty as he continues to moan.
SW: Have you ever expected big things to come? Like FINALLY your moment in the sun is imminent, and then all of a sudden you are met with massive disappointment?
Mrs: Yes.
SW: Really?
Mrs: When I married your fat ass!
Sam brushes off his wifes comments.
SW: That old motherfucker cost me my moment! That bitch would not have won the belt if it wasn’t for her!
Mrs: Or maybe you just sucked that night?
SW: Or maybe the filthy Mexicans stealing our jobs and our money made me suck that night!
Mrs: Look at me now mister! I am not having an oversized baby the size of the Grand Canyon in this house! With your whining it’s like you’re having a fucking period! I look like I have bigger balls than you!
SW: Oh do-
Mrs: Make one cuss at me and I swear to god the one with the biggest pair of anything will be me! You may have had a good run at your wrassling, but Sam don’t you forget that I will fucking kill you if you even try!
Sam moans and murmurs to himself before finishing off his coffee and looking out on his lawn. He mulls over his next moves for the future as his wife slowly comes over and comforts his shoulder.
Mrs: Do something about it. Or else your ass is on the couch!
She leaves him to think before Sam looks around for moments of inspiration. He shakes his head as his body is still banged up from the epic battle he and La Cucaracha had at Eternal Lucha. He looks around before bending on his knees and beginning a prayer in front of a picture.
SW: All saviour, high and mighty. What do I do in this hour? I need guidance!”
The whole room goes quiet as Sam continues to have his head down.
“Well for starters stop treating me like I am god!”
Sams eyes widen open before slowly leaning up to reveal his proud portrait of George W Bush is alive talking to him.
SW: George! You’re here to help me!
George’s face begins to turn sour.
“No you stupid idiot you have a concussion! You’re hallucinating me!”
SW: Oh….Well you’re here so it must be a sign!
“It really isn’t. You need medical help.”
SW: I remember when those foreign fuckers tried to mess with you and instead of buckling from the pressure of the world, you gave them a massiv FUCK YOU and bombed Iraq and Afghanistan, and look how they are now!!
“Yes……”
SW: Maybe that’s what I need to do too! I shouldn’t be sad I should be mad! That old motherfucker cost me my dream and should I let him get away with it? HELL FUCKING NO! I need to retaliate with heavy artillery and blast him out of site like how you heroically did with the Taliban and Saddam! I need to show the whole world that Big Sam is still the American War Machine!
“Well good for you.”
SW: Thanks George, you’re the best!
“Better than what you have to offer this November!
"
SW: Ha! Trump will win!
“Oh and Sam?”
SW: Yes George?
George looks at him straight in the eyes with a serious face.
“Get your ass to hospital. I mean really…now.”
The conversation abruptly ends and the focus is now on Sams wife calling 911 as she finds him laying giggling on the floor with his eyes dazed.
As they rush Sam to hospital. He continues to giggle and speak like he is from another planet. They can’t make no sense as they take him in for emergency checks of his head. His wife holds his hand firmly as they take him in the ward.
Mrs: Oh baby I’m sorry for earlier! We’ll get you back in no time!
SW:….El Torro….
Mrs: What hubby?
SW: El Torro!
Mrs: Oh gawd he’s speaking Spanish! I knew he wasn’t well!
SW (dazed and slurred): I have to beat El Torro!
…
Mrs: We need a concussion test pronto doc!
….
So all of you are laughing I bet!
Oh look at Sam getting beat by a Lucha girl!
Well I didn’t lose clean to her because some old prick decided to disrespect me and interfere in my match and cost me my dream of winning the gold in behind enemy lines!
And it makes me fucking sick!
Do you seriously think Ramon that you have it anymore? You don’t! You got fucking lucky! And here we are in a no fear match where anything goes. You’re going to regret trying to mess with me!
No holds barred, falls count anywhere! You will be tortured and twisted like a fat American eating a fajita wrap! And you deserve it all!
You won’t have anyone to save you this time. Heck I don’t even need the Ultras out here to help me. You can’t wrestle anymore. You need a walking stick to get around old man!
It’ll be like taking candy from an illegal baby!
And then once I am done with you. I am coming for the Rey De Reyes champion whoever it may be! Because I am the most lethal wrestler in Guerreros of Lucha today!
I am the most vicious motherfucker that anyone has seen since this promotion started!
I am The American War Machine!
And I’m going for anyone trying to stop me and the proud working Americans who make this country great!
This is our time now, not that flippy do Mexicans time.
La Cucaracha, Senior Awesomeo. Watch as I end the life and put “El Torro” to sleep for good! And Sawtooth grin, whoever the fuck you are. You better watch too in case you try and step in my way.
This is not the end folks.
…
This is Americas beginning!
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!