Post by Sam Washington on Jul 23, 2016 16:12:10 GMT
Sam is up outside his makeshift ranch at the dawn of morning with a smile on his face. He rakes in the scenic view of a perfect sunshine morning, the loud sounds of the rooster on his part of the farm. He inhales a massive breath through his nose and breathes out with a sense of delight.
“It is good to be the King!”
He picks up the newspaper left outside his mailbox by the local paper boy before swaggering up to his doors. He throws the newspaper onto the kitchen bunker before jumping upstairs and entering his bedroom where his wife is laying asleep. His face brightens up at the sight of his wife in a deep sleep and in comfort. Sam strokes her hair softly and gently kisses her forehead before lifting the mattress up and flipping it over, and in doing so her, onto the hard wooden ground. A large sharp yelp can be heard from her as she jolts up in shock, looking around at what has happened since crashing to the ground.
“Good you’re not busy. Full American breakfast for your soon to be king of America Sexy!”
......................
Moments pass over and the couple are in the kitchen with the ‘American War Machines’ wife making a large breakfast that only the deepest stomachs could devour. She plates it up and places it in front of him.
“There you go handsome, full English!”
Sam looks at her in disgust.
“Sorry….Full American.”
Sam’s look of disgust turns to one of approval as he begins tucking in. The wife reads the newspaper before something sparks in her mind and prompts her to raise something up to Sam.
“Oh honey, when I went to see our monthly statement I noticed that our savings were significantly down.”
SW (With a full month): I see.
“I raised this with the bank and wanted to report to the cops to report that we’ve been robbed but they insisted one of us withdrew the cash.”
Sam swallows his food and wipes his mouth with a paper towel.
SW: Oh yeah I took the money out.
Sam’s wife begins to clench her fists.
“You did…..WHAT!”
Sam gets up and puts his plate in the dishwasher.
SW: You’re gonna love this!
Steam can be seen coming out of her ears.
SW: It was essential needs! I mean I had to book out the hall at the community centre, the fireworks, the BBQ food, the American presidents re-enacting the signing of the constitution, the Mexican alien piñata. They all cost a lot of money sweetie! Best ten grand I ever spent on the celebration of me as victor in the King of Kings finals!
Sam’s wife can be visually seen snapping a fork in half.
SW: Besides. Why on earth do we need money for a rainy day? We don’t need to fix the place up, we sure as hell don’t need to leave the country and we don’t need anything at all to make us happy! Besides you’re gonna be making love to the world champion of GOL! We will soon do anything we want! And you will be my queen at my side!
…
Sam spurts through the kitchen window and rolls on the dirty ground. All you can hear is the screams and roars of Sam’s wife as she fumes at how much money has been blown away. He quickly sprints into his truck and tries to start the motor. The radio comes on to the tune of Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Years” to which Sam can’t help but sing to as he tries to drive.
SW (singing): “Making my way down town, walking fast, faces pass and I’m homebound.”
Sam soon nods and shakes his head to the beats.
(Shaking his head multiple times) “And I need you…(Shaking his head multiple times)..And I miss you!”
Sam drives off fast but out of nowhere the main wheel chassis of the truck is ripped off thanks to his wife hooking it onto a concrete pillar. He rolls out of his truck and the first thing he sees is the stern foot of his wife. He slowly looks up to see the pissed off wife of his.
“You better win this match or I will set your fat ass on fire!!!”
SW (Head down): Yes maam….
………………
One more match.
Just one more opponent.
And it is mine. Immortality.
At Eternal Lucha you are going to see the King of Kings take his rightful throne as the King of America. Because it should only be an American that takes a title from a company based in America, even though they state different. All of these illegal fucks that come in and take a massive squirty shit on my American lawn are going to see their heroes die in a horrible death as I send your heroes that steal our names and pennies back down to the filth that your streets are.
And the best part is I’m going to do this in your own dirty yard!
Your food is shit and cheap and your liquor is watered down. You have nothing worth of value that isn’t of any value for me than to wipe my shitty ass with. You’re children are going to cry salty tears when they see me win the title!
And no woman is going to stop me!
Ha a woman competing against a man. Some call this abuse y’all get me? Woman are only good at cooking, cleaning and making sure my money is all in order. These women who think they compete in sports events are morons. No one is gonna want to watch women try to be as good as the men, because they NEVER can be! They can just step aside and make babies for the men of the house hold!
So “Wrestlepest” aka La Cucaracha. You soil your flag by pretending to be one of these flippy do monkeys that think they can wrassle! You could flip so many times but power beats speed all the time!
While you need to bolt, I only need one killtshot. The American Head Charge killshot that is! Once you feel the wrath of an American knockout that’ll be you. And then my arm will be raised as this fat man from Texas becomes the King of Kings champion!
Aw now don’t take it so personal La Cucaracha. You should be use to the sight of America stomping all over Canada. You’re like the little brother that tries to better their big brother every time but is just too stupid to realise that it will never happen anytime! Maybe when I’mma done wiping my ass with the Mexican flag I’ll wipe my nose with the Canadian one too!
Our independence day just past. But we’re going to be sparking the sky with glowing fireworks come the end of July as we celebrate the end of the immigrants creeping into our borders as their dreams die with my victory.
Oh it is good to be King.
And it is EVEN GREATER to be American!
…
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
“It is good to be the King!”
He picks up the newspaper left outside his mailbox by the local paper boy before swaggering up to his doors. He throws the newspaper onto the kitchen bunker before jumping upstairs and entering his bedroom where his wife is laying asleep. His face brightens up at the sight of his wife in a deep sleep and in comfort. Sam strokes her hair softly and gently kisses her forehead before lifting the mattress up and flipping it over, and in doing so her, onto the hard wooden ground. A large sharp yelp can be heard from her as she jolts up in shock, looking around at what has happened since crashing to the ground.
“Good you’re not busy. Full American breakfast for your soon to be king of America Sexy!”
......................
Moments pass over and the couple are in the kitchen with the ‘American War Machines’ wife making a large breakfast that only the deepest stomachs could devour. She plates it up and places it in front of him.
“There you go handsome, full English!”
Sam looks at her in disgust.
“Sorry….Full American.”
Sam’s look of disgust turns to one of approval as he begins tucking in. The wife reads the newspaper before something sparks in her mind and prompts her to raise something up to Sam.
“Oh honey, when I went to see our monthly statement I noticed that our savings were significantly down.”
SW (With a full month): I see.
“I raised this with the bank and wanted to report to the cops to report that we’ve been robbed but they insisted one of us withdrew the cash.”
Sam swallows his food and wipes his mouth with a paper towel.
SW: Oh yeah I took the money out.
Sam’s wife begins to clench her fists.
“You did…..WHAT!”
Sam gets up and puts his plate in the dishwasher.
SW: You’re gonna love this!
Steam can be seen coming out of her ears.
SW: It was essential needs! I mean I had to book out the hall at the community centre, the fireworks, the BBQ food, the American presidents re-enacting the signing of the constitution, the Mexican alien piñata. They all cost a lot of money sweetie! Best ten grand I ever spent on the celebration of me as victor in the King of Kings finals!
Sam’s wife can be visually seen snapping a fork in half.
SW: Besides. Why on earth do we need money for a rainy day? We don’t need to fix the place up, we sure as hell don’t need to leave the country and we don’t need anything at all to make us happy! Besides you’re gonna be making love to the world champion of GOL! We will soon do anything we want! And you will be my queen at my side!
…
Sam spurts through the kitchen window and rolls on the dirty ground. All you can hear is the screams and roars of Sam’s wife as she fumes at how much money has been blown away. He quickly sprints into his truck and tries to start the motor. The radio comes on to the tune of Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Years” to which Sam can’t help but sing to as he tries to drive.
SW (singing): “Making my way down town, walking fast, faces pass and I’m homebound.”
Sam soon nods and shakes his head to the beats.
(Shaking his head multiple times) “And I need you…(Shaking his head multiple times)..And I miss you!”
Sam drives off fast but out of nowhere the main wheel chassis of the truck is ripped off thanks to his wife hooking it onto a concrete pillar. He rolls out of his truck and the first thing he sees is the stern foot of his wife. He slowly looks up to see the pissed off wife of his.
“You better win this match or I will set your fat ass on fire!!!”
SW (Head down): Yes maam….
………………
One more match.
Just one more opponent.
And it is mine. Immortality.
At Eternal Lucha you are going to see the King of Kings take his rightful throne as the King of America. Because it should only be an American that takes a title from a company based in America, even though they state different. All of these illegal fucks that come in and take a massive squirty shit on my American lawn are going to see their heroes die in a horrible death as I send your heroes that steal our names and pennies back down to the filth that your streets are.
And the best part is I’m going to do this in your own dirty yard!
Your food is shit and cheap and your liquor is watered down. You have nothing worth of value that isn’t of any value for me than to wipe my shitty ass with. You’re children are going to cry salty tears when they see me win the title!
And no woman is going to stop me!
Ha a woman competing against a man. Some call this abuse y’all get me? Woman are only good at cooking, cleaning and making sure my money is all in order. These women who think they compete in sports events are morons. No one is gonna want to watch women try to be as good as the men, because they NEVER can be! They can just step aside and make babies for the men of the house hold!
So “Wrestlepest” aka La Cucaracha. You soil your flag by pretending to be one of these flippy do monkeys that think they can wrassle! You could flip so many times but power beats speed all the time!
While you need to bolt, I only need one killtshot. The American Head Charge killshot that is! Once you feel the wrath of an American knockout that’ll be you. And then my arm will be raised as this fat man from Texas becomes the King of Kings champion!
Aw now don’t take it so personal La Cucaracha. You should be use to the sight of America stomping all over Canada. You’re like the little brother that tries to better their big brother every time but is just too stupid to realise that it will never happen anytime! Maybe when I’mma done wiping my ass with the Mexican flag I’ll wipe my nose with the Canadian one too!
Our independence day just past. But we’re going to be sparking the sky with glowing fireworks come the end of July as we celebrate the end of the immigrants creeping into our borders as their dreams die with my victory.
Oh it is good to be King.
And it is EVEN GREATER to be American!
…
AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!