Post by Senior Awesomeo on Jun 25, 2016 12:16:27 GMT
(Last month I won a battle royal to be the first ever number one contender for the GOL Rey De Reyes title. You'd think after winning that tournament I'd be treated like royalty. Given the red carpet treatment and all. But this month I'm in a Lucha Wrestling match against a bunch of dudes. Most are lame, jobbers, and just not that good. Dreams in the match so it won't be that boring. At least he'll put up a fight unlike the rest of so called wrestlers on the billing. His promo was so hard to read though with the yellow font. Hurt my eyes just reading it.)
(So yeah, with Dream in the match I have to put some more prep time in and get a game plan that will help me with this six way match. Never been a fan of matches like this one just because there's to many wrestlers to pay attention to and just to much chaos in and out of that ring. No real game plan for a match like this. So my best way to winning this match......just go with the chaos and pray that everything goes your way. You think to hard about what goes on in that ring and next thing you know, you're getting a boot to the face or getting dropped on your head.)
(Twirling my mask with my finger inside a wrestling ring in Chicago Illinois, I look at the camera with a slight grin on my face as I begin to talk)
Kurt Newman: "Hey there friendos! Kurt Newman here......aka.....Senior Awesome here in Chicago Illinois at my wrestling school. You know....the dude that won the battle Royale last month to become GOLs first ever number one contender for the Rey De Reyes title. I alone outlasted a bunch of dudes to be the future face of GOL. A face here in GOL that will put this company on the map in the wrestling industry. But before I can make that happen.....I have to wait. I have to wait for there to be a champion crowned here in GOL for that to happen. So here I am.....waiting.....waiting......and waiting some more until someone wins the title.
I hate waiting friendos. I hate it because I know whom ever I'm across the ring with.....who ever holds that title........I'm going to beat them. I already know these wrestlers in this tournament to crown the first GOL champ. I know what they can do. I know their strengths and I know their weaknesses and I know what they plan on doing before they do. Everything about them.....I read them and their game plan like an open book......or one of those pop up books with the tab that you can pull and it makes the pop up figures do motions."
(I can't help but laugh a little as I think about those types of books)
Kurt Newman: "Those are the best types of books."
(Wait.......snap out of it Kurt! This is a promo damnit!)
Kurt Newman: "Who ever wins the GOL Rey title.....it's already shown their fate with the title. Who ever wins this tournament.....they'll win the GOL Rey title......they'll hold it up high to show everyone what they've accomplished. They'll be over come with joy and happiness because they did it. They became the face of GOL by winning that title. But as soon as they face me.....they'll lose it to me because I am just better than everyone in that GOL Rey Tournament.....better than everyone in GOL......and better than everyone in this Lucha Wrestling match that I am apart of.......because I've proven it time and time again with every fed that I've ever stepped foot in.
Everyone knows who I am. I'm Kurt Newman. The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Mr. Awesome himself. Everyone knows what I can do inside that ring and because of that I am a man not to be taken lightly. And if you haven't heard of me......then do your homework. I'm not a hard man to find info on in the wrestling world. And unlike most of the guys in this 6 way Lucha match....I don't need a mask to cover who I am. I don't need to hide the fact that I'm Kurt Newman from the rest of the GOL world."
(Holding up the mask towards the camera, I show off its greatness as I begin to talk.)
Kurt Newman: "I wear this mask because this is Lucha Wrestling. And when it comes to Lucha Wrestling......you just gotta wear a mask. So when I came to Lucha and I decided to wear a mask.......there was only one type of mask I wanted to wear.....and that was a Nirvana mask....a mask that was worn by my dad, a legend in the wrestling industry. You honestly think Nirvana will just give out one of his old masks just to any Joe? Hellz no. Nirvana gave me this mask because he respects me. He knows what I can do in that ring and he knows as long as I have this mask in hand.....nothing will happen to it. So I wear this mask here in GOL with pride and confidence in knowing that when I walk out to that ring with this very mask on......that I will do the family name proud and get a victory."
(I slowly put the mask over my face and adjust it so that I'm able to see.)
Senior Awesomeo: " I don't have to prove anything to any of you guys because I'm just much better than all of you guys combined. You want me to be in a Lucha match? I'll out Lucha anyone in that ring. You want me to be in a hardcore match. I'll pull out a barbed wire ladder and destroy you all with it. You want to go one on one with some British style wrestling, well then put up your dukes and I'll submit your ass while drinking tea and biscuits. How about some Japanese style shoot wrestling? Boys and girls I'll stretch you out and make you feel pain in places you thought never existed.
It doesn't matter what type of match I'm in folks.......I've trained around the world and I'm well rounded in every type of wrestling technique that is out there. And because of that......I'm just better than you. And if you don't believe that....then I'll be more than happy to show you."
(Alright, time to bring it home. So with a grin on my face, I look at the camera and talk.)
Senior Awesomeo: "I'd wish you all luck.....but everyone knows that I'm fucking Lady Luck.....and she's been liking what she's been getting lately."
(Holding up a peace sign, I turn my back away from the camera and make my way out of the ring.)
Senior Awesome: "El Malparido, Eideron Jr, Bolt, King Fuego, Dream......see you guys at Bastardo Sin Gloria."
(Alright, promo is over. Now to go back to what I was doing before I was called up to do this promo. And that is watching dog videos on YouTube........ok that's a lie......it's watching granny porn. And I know what you're going to say but just don't alright. I have some freaky fetishes and this is mine for this month. Hopefully next month it'll be hentai porn or people pooping on one another........I'm just going to stop talking now. Kurt Newman, out!)
(So yeah, with Dream in the match I have to put some more prep time in and get a game plan that will help me with this six way match. Never been a fan of matches like this one just because there's to many wrestlers to pay attention to and just to much chaos in and out of that ring. No real game plan for a match like this. So my best way to winning this match......just go with the chaos and pray that everything goes your way. You think to hard about what goes on in that ring and next thing you know, you're getting a boot to the face or getting dropped on your head.)
(Twirling my mask with my finger inside a wrestling ring in Chicago Illinois, I look at the camera with a slight grin on my face as I begin to talk)
Kurt Newman: "Hey there friendos! Kurt Newman here......aka.....Senior Awesome here in Chicago Illinois at my wrestling school. You know....the dude that won the battle Royale last month to become GOLs first ever number one contender for the Rey De Reyes title. I alone outlasted a bunch of dudes to be the future face of GOL. A face here in GOL that will put this company on the map in the wrestling industry. But before I can make that happen.....I have to wait. I have to wait for there to be a champion crowned here in GOL for that to happen. So here I am.....waiting.....waiting......and waiting some more until someone wins the title.
I hate waiting friendos. I hate it because I know whom ever I'm across the ring with.....who ever holds that title........I'm going to beat them. I already know these wrestlers in this tournament to crown the first GOL champ. I know what they can do. I know their strengths and I know their weaknesses and I know what they plan on doing before they do. Everything about them.....I read them and their game plan like an open book......or one of those pop up books with the tab that you can pull and it makes the pop up figures do motions."
(I can't help but laugh a little as I think about those types of books)
Kurt Newman: "Those are the best types of books."
(Wait.......snap out of it Kurt! This is a promo damnit!)
Kurt Newman: "Who ever wins the GOL Rey title.....it's already shown their fate with the title. Who ever wins this tournament.....they'll win the GOL Rey title......they'll hold it up high to show everyone what they've accomplished. They'll be over come with joy and happiness because they did it. They became the face of GOL by winning that title. But as soon as they face me.....they'll lose it to me because I am just better than everyone in that GOL Rey Tournament.....better than everyone in GOL......and better than everyone in this Lucha Wrestling match that I am apart of.......because I've proven it time and time again with every fed that I've ever stepped foot in.
Everyone knows who I am. I'm Kurt Newman. The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Mr. Awesome himself. Everyone knows what I can do inside that ring and because of that I am a man not to be taken lightly. And if you haven't heard of me......then do your homework. I'm not a hard man to find info on in the wrestling world. And unlike most of the guys in this 6 way Lucha match....I don't need a mask to cover who I am. I don't need to hide the fact that I'm Kurt Newman from the rest of the GOL world."
(Holding up the mask towards the camera, I show off its greatness as I begin to talk.)
Kurt Newman: "I wear this mask because this is Lucha Wrestling. And when it comes to Lucha Wrestling......you just gotta wear a mask. So when I came to Lucha and I decided to wear a mask.......there was only one type of mask I wanted to wear.....and that was a Nirvana mask....a mask that was worn by my dad, a legend in the wrestling industry. You honestly think Nirvana will just give out one of his old masks just to any Joe? Hellz no. Nirvana gave me this mask because he respects me. He knows what I can do in that ring and he knows as long as I have this mask in hand.....nothing will happen to it. So I wear this mask here in GOL with pride and confidence in knowing that when I walk out to that ring with this very mask on......that I will do the family name proud and get a victory."
(I slowly put the mask over my face and adjust it so that I'm able to see.)
Senior Awesomeo: " I don't have to prove anything to any of you guys because I'm just much better than all of you guys combined. You want me to be in a Lucha match? I'll out Lucha anyone in that ring. You want me to be in a hardcore match. I'll pull out a barbed wire ladder and destroy you all with it. You want to go one on one with some British style wrestling, well then put up your dukes and I'll submit your ass while drinking tea and biscuits. How about some Japanese style shoot wrestling? Boys and girls I'll stretch you out and make you feel pain in places you thought never existed.
It doesn't matter what type of match I'm in folks.......I've trained around the world and I'm well rounded in every type of wrestling technique that is out there. And because of that......I'm just better than you. And if you don't believe that....then I'll be more than happy to show you."
(Alright, time to bring it home. So with a grin on my face, I look at the camera and talk.)
Senior Awesomeo: "I'd wish you all luck.....but everyone knows that I'm fucking Lady Luck.....and she's been liking what she's been getting lately."
(Holding up a peace sign, I turn my back away from the camera and make my way out of the ring.)
Senior Awesome: "El Malparido, Eideron Jr, Bolt, King Fuego, Dream......see you guys at Bastardo Sin Gloria."
(Alright, promo is over. Now to go back to what I was doing before I was called up to do this promo. And that is watching dog videos on YouTube........ok that's a lie......it's watching granny porn. And I know what you're going to say but just don't alright. I have some freaky fetishes and this is mine for this month. Hopefully next month it'll be hentai porn or people pooping on one another........I'm just going to stop talking now. Kurt Newman, out!)