Post by La Cucaracha on May 1, 2016 1:22:02 GMT
The YouTube video begins with a shot of a banner bearing a stylized cockroach. The banner appears to hastily thrown over a brown van. While the banner itself extends to both ends of the screen, the honks and engines of Los Angeles traffic echo in the background. La Cucaracha's face, purple domino mask and all invades the shot, as the Canadian Luchadora makes a final attempt to balance the camera. Satisfied with her work, she steps back and centers herself in front of the banner. Her ring gear is pristine, this time employing orange as the primary color and purple as secondary. Clearing her throat, La Cucaracha then turns her attention to the camera.
La Cucaracha: S'up, GoL? Last time you saw me I was being exploded. So exploded, in fact, that I had to buy new ring gear. While it does bother me that the company used those explosives on me, when they could've been better used to make my entrance more epic, that's beside the point. I lost and losing is for losers. So now if I cut a promo saying what a winner I am, I just sound like I'm full of shit. But if I beat King Fuego, and THEN cut a promo about how great I am, then my whole story will check out and none will be the wiser.
'Cause I got no beef with you, Fuego. You seem like an OK guy and while I don't necessarily want to punch you in the face, I want to be the Rey De Reyes just a little bit more. Oh, and when I don't have to worry about being blown up, I punch better. Just an FYI. That's why, for our match, I'm temporarily suspending my don't-punch-King-Fuego-in-the-face rule. I'm even applying that rule change to the entirety of King Fuego, and not just the face. I already ran it by the board of La Cucaracha Inc, your highness, so it's too late to file a complaint. Maybe by Chapter 3.
But you know what I don't get? You're already royalty, dude. You can't just annex another title. Do you have any idea what a compromising diplomatic position that puts you in? Do they even know your foreign policy? Where's your transparency, King Fuego? Where do your dissidents keep disappearing to? Are you now, or have you ever been a shapeshifting lizard?
Because if there's one thing I hate, it's when shape-shifting lizards assume human form and meddle in our affairs. But let's say you're actually just a guy who is also the king of fire. Don't get too comfortable on that throne, because I'm coming to the Labyrinth with enough H20 to wash away your whole castle.
The reign of King Fuego ends at Thundercunt. Long live Queen Cucaracha!
La Cucaracha advances toward the camera, just a second before it topples to one side. "Goddammit," she says, as the YouTube video ends.
La Cucaracha: S'up, GoL? Last time you saw me I was being exploded. So exploded, in fact, that I had to buy new ring gear. While it does bother me that the company used those explosives on me, when they could've been better used to make my entrance more epic, that's beside the point. I lost and losing is for losers. So now if I cut a promo saying what a winner I am, I just sound like I'm full of shit. But if I beat King Fuego, and THEN cut a promo about how great I am, then my whole story will check out and none will be the wiser.
'Cause I got no beef with you, Fuego. You seem like an OK guy and while I don't necessarily want to punch you in the face, I want to be the Rey De Reyes just a little bit more. Oh, and when I don't have to worry about being blown up, I punch better. Just an FYI. That's why, for our match, I'm temporarily suspending my don't-punch-King-Fuego-in-the-face rule. I'm even applying that rule change to the entirety of King Fuego, and not just the face. I already ran it by the board of La Cucaracha Inc, your highness, so it's too late to file a complaint. Maybe by Chapter 3.
But you know what I don't get? You're already royalty, dude. You can't just annex another title. Do you have any idea what a compromising diplomatic position that puts you in? Do they even know your foreign policy? Where's your transparency, King Fuego? Where do your dissidents keep disappearing to? Are you now, or have you ever been a shapeshifting lizard?
Because if there's one thing I hate, it's when shape-shifting lizards assume human form and meddle in our affairs. But let's say you're actually just a guy who is also the king of fire. Don't get too comfortable on that throne, because I'm coming to the Labyrinth with enough H20 to wash away your whole castle.
The reign of King Fuego ends at Thundercunt. Long live Queen Cucaracha!
La Cucaracha advances toward the camera, just a second before it topples to one side. "Goddammit," she says, as the YouTube video ends.