Post by Alan Envy on Dec 20, 2017 21:22:54 GMT
Alan Envy’s Bedroom.
San Diego, California
Alan Envy was fast asleep….lying next to hm was his girlfriend Jessa Jane who was asleep as well. She was dreaming...of the day that Alan would propose to her and she was in the middle of saying yes when she is woken up.
NO….NNOO….I DON'T WANT TO DESTROY CHRISTMAS!!
Envy is stars thrashing around as Jessa pops up and starts shaking him.
Jessa Jane
Baby wake up….you are having a nightmare. Alan!!
Alan pops up and stares wild eyed around the room. He starts to touch every part of his body a starts to look relieved.
Alan Envy
Ok….ok….I'm not a horse….I'm a human being. Oh my God I am!!
He had reached between his legs…(well...let's keep this PG….but you can figure out what he thought was horse size on your own…) as he finally gets his wits about him. He sits on the edge...happy to see two legs and he looks at his two arms.
Alan Envy
I just dreamed I was a centaur….working for Jacob trying to kill Santa's reindeer...and Honey and Julliet Brooks stopped us and I was sentenced to loading Santa's sleigh for eternity…
Envy had a look of disbelief in his face. Jessa just stared at him trying not to laugh. But she did under her breath. She lied her head back down in the pillow.
Jessa Jane
Seriously….you have to lay off the Mexican food before you go to bed. Might help with the gas too babe…
Envy looks at Jessa who is asleep again. His stomach makes a growling noise thanks to the taco plate he ate before he went to sleep. He gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom to counter Montezuma’s Revenge...Mexico style.
Mexican Restaurant
Undisclosed Location
Alan Envy
I'm telling you Jacob...it was fucking weird. It was the worst damn nightmare I've ever had. And I've done some pretty heavy shit in the past to have some pretty fucked up dreams.
Jacob Hammerstein sits there watching his fellow Horsemen shovel down his second plate of tamales covered in chili con queso with rice and refried beans. He washes it down with a swig of Modelo as Jacob shakes his head.
Jacob Hammerstein
How in the shit do you stay in shape? I bet your gas is lethal. I really hope we aren't sharing a cabin on that boat out in the Atlantic.
Envy slams his fork down and stares at Hammerstein.
Alan Envy
Can we be serious for a moment? Why am I looked at as a fucking bad guy? I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to ruin Christmas bro.
Jacob stares at Envy as he sips his glass of water and digs his fork into his vegan taco salad.
Jacob Hammerstein
Because you are a bad guy Alan. You aren't very appreciated in Mexico by either the fans or GoL. And there isn't much you can really do to change it. Except go on that boat and alongside your teammates beat the holy living snot out of Honey, Julliet, Joseph, and Adam.
Look...Mo and Julian are concerned. You keep going on Twitter saying you don't understand how you are a Rudo...they think you are not going to give your best effort to help us win and put those goody two shoes nauseatingly positive nerds down. Because you know if Alan Envy has his head in the game...with us they don't stand a snowball's chance in Mexico City of beating us.
Alan Envy
Tell them I'm showing up to win. Despite how I feel about being labeled something I'm not. I still want the winners money. But I'm not going to do any kind of extracurricular activity...like you did to Honey.
Hammerstein shakes his head as he digs back into his taco salad. Envy looks at his phone.
Alan Envy
Oh shit...gotta go. I'm handing out gifts with Santa down at the mall. Got the GoL film crew coming out. They are going to see that I'm not a Rudo….that I am beloved. And that sir benefits us in gimmick table sales.
Hammerstein just shakes his head as he watches the optimistic Alan Envy get up and head out the restaurant door. Jacob sips his water as he talks under his breath.
Jacob Hammerstein
Whatever you say kid…
Santa's Workshop
Local Mall
At the mall a very excited Alan Envy is standing around the corner at the entrance to the mall from where the venue had their Santa's Workshop as he was waiting for the A crew from Guerreros of Lucha to arrive to document Alan Envy's Christmas giving. They would finally see that he was a good guy and Envy would finally be at peace with this….ad those gimmick table sales would be on that Japan level like they are over there when he performs. The heavily populated Hispanic mall….where he saw many people wearing GoL shirts I might add...was bustling due to Christmas only being a week away and of course...they had come to see Papá Noel!
Envy keeps looking around for the big film crew he was expecting for this when he is taped on the shoulder by some teenage kid.
Alan Envy
Look...I'm all for giving autographs to my fans….but now isn't the best of times.
He turns his back as the kid speaks back to him.
Actually Mr. Envy….I'm from the office. We're here to film this for the website. My name is Carlos.
Envy turns back to Carlos who is now joined by a single camera man with a low budget camera. He looked like he was in his 70's. Alan keeps looking around.
Alan Envy
This is a rib right? I was expecting a huge crew. This is supposed to be a long production. You know...for the Christmas show right?
Carlos instructs the elderly camera man ignoring Alan.
Carlos
GO SET UP OVER THERE BY THE NORTH POLE. LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH!
Envy just stares at Carlos.
Carlos
He's a little hard of hearing….he's done….
Alan Envy
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!! Why don't I have a production crew for this!! This was supposed to be showcased at the show!!! Why do I have a kid and some old bastard filming this and some pimpled mark teenager!
Carlos
I'm an intern thank you. And this is what they sent. They only send the large production crews for the stars like Roxi Johnson. Now are you ready? Santa just came out of the house.
Envy just stands there...stung by the notion that GoL didn't consider him a big star that warranted a camera crew. He looks over at the scene...children all so excited to see Santa. He was shaking everyone's hand as he looks towards Alan Envy...who had organized all of this and put the money towards the presents that were about to be handed out . Alan sucked it up and walked over to the workshop.
Alan smiles as most of the children look up at him not knowing who in the hell he was. Envy again shook it off as Santa starts to speak to the kids directly. Over in the corner a fan that was wearing a GoL shirt was talking to one of the other parents.
This sucks. You would think they would send one of their actual stars instead of some curtain jerker has been like him.
Alan heard every word that the fan said. He started assessing the situation. The 70 year old camera man filming...Carlos...not the production crew he was promised. The kids were ignoring him..unappreciative of him even though Santa told them that all of this was due to his generosity. Then there was everything Hammerstein said to him...the whole he is labeled as a Rudo. He looks around as everyone was ignoring him. Until finally….he had enough….
He grabs Santa Claus and drops him with the DDT….the DDT that he has brought back as the ultimate end. Santa lies there on the floor unconscious.
OOHH SSHHIITT!!!
The fan Envy overheard earlier screamed out as Envy sat with his legs crossed. He looked down at Santa then out towards the kids who now were all crying. He smirks at them as he stands up over them all.
Alan Envy
Oh….now I have your attention? Yeah that's right you little brats….TAKE A LOOK AT SANTA ENVY!!! And Santa has decided that you all have been bad little boys and girls this year...so these presents? Forget about them...because none of you little shits deserve them…
With a sadistic look on his face Envy starts tossing the presents into the large fountain that was around where the mall's large Christmas tree was behind the Workshop. Envy finished ruining the presents as parents ran off with their kids who all were insanely upset. Envy turns towards Carlos and the old man.
Alan Envy
You two rolling?
Carlos looks at Alan...shocked at what he had just seen. He looks at the old man who was rolling...capturing everything that had transpired so far.
Carlos
Yeah….yes sir...yes.
Carlos was pretty freaked out of his mind right now...but he recognized a golden opportunity to move out of the intern phase and to become a bonafide junior producer. So he was damn sure documenting all of this.
Alan Envy
I tried to be a nice guy...so damn hard. I tried to prove how I was loved in Mexico and I could be the biggest hero in your company….but you kept pushing and pushing me. You disrespected me...these fans disrespected me. So now….I'll be a Rudo!! I now belong on Team Rudo and I make you a goddamn promise I'm going to be the biggest...most vicious...and uncontrollable Rudo that GoL has or ever will fucking see.
Honey….you are a friend. I have the utmost respect for you. But sweetie you are going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Same as Julliet Brooks...you know how this business works and you know me. You just need to stay out of my way. As far as you other two go…..Joseph White and Adam Stryker...I don't know either of you from fucking Adam. I have no problem….and trust me when I say no problem putting you two down like the miserable perros you two are.
On that big boat in the middle of the fucking Atlantic Ocean? Team Rudos dominate. All of those jackasses who voted for Team Technicos you can be responsible for what we do. Blame yourselves for what we do...what Mohamad...Julian...and the Horsemen….do to your heroes. I hope your Holidays suck and your Christmas is miserable. Bah Humbug.
With that Envy takes one last look at the scene of chaos he caused. Santa still unconscious...the Workshop in shambles. He smiles sadistically and with evil intent in his eyes as he walked away. They wanted to embrace his Rudo….they got their wish.
They will regret it too...