Post by Hammerstein on May 1, 2017 0:45:23 GMT
Hammerstein sits in the locker room of The Labyrinth, shaking his head.
Hammerstein (in his best Jamaican accent): Hey, Corey, whatcha smokin, mon?
Whatever it is, dude, you musta got hold of some stout stuff ta bake yo brain to da point dat yo ass hallucinatin like you are.
Maybe it's da paranoia got yo ass tinkin I'm stalkin ya. Yeah, I been in a buncha different companies. Lion's Road, GoL, Seattle Pro, ECWF, DARC, WWH, and da UKWF.
Dat ain't me stalkin ya. Dat's companies actually wantin me in dey company. Now ya may not know what dat feels like, Corey, havin other companies take interest in ya. Dat's because most wrestlin companies don't want primadonna bitches, whether dey been longest reignin champions or not.
But, Corey, dey didn't come lookin fo me. See, dude, not long ago, I put together a list of companies I wanted ta work for, kinda like a bucket list. I ran da roads and flew da friendly, and not-so-friendly skies, puttin myself out dere for da people. I won some, and I lost some. But I got my ass out dere and I fought. I didn't stay at home, clutchin my title close ta my chest. Hell, dude, I fought my way inta World Title matches in several of dese companies, including twice wit da King of Lions Champion, Julian Cutlass, who if i ain't mistakin, ya never fought one damn time.
Now why would a record breakin champion not wanna take da step to da top title in da company?
Why? Cause ya don't REALLY want it, do ya? Oh, ya say ya get no respect, and dat ya didn't get da opportunities ya deserve. But ya gotta be twice baked like a potato ta tink a champion wit yo record wouldn't get a World Title match. Dude, I heard da backstage whispers.
Ya didn't wanna match wit da Champ, cause he'd expose yo weaknesses just like he did everbody elses.
Yo ego was so fragile, ya couldn't cinch yo sack up enough ta step in da ring, cause ya knew yo ass would get da shit beat out of it.
But ta hear yo side of it, da company’s holdin ya back.
(Mimicking Cruelty ) ‘Dey don't promote me. Dey don't push me. Dey don't appreciate me.’
Well, I ain't speaking fo dem, but I don't appreciate yo bitch ass attitude.
If what you smokin was good, I would thunk it would made you more chill, but you know us slow kids. I just don't get it.
Another ting I just don't get is how, if I'm Lion's Road’s “golden boy,” like you say, den how is beatin me now worth less dan beatin me back den when I was a nobody?
None a dis makes sense ta me, but it ain't cause yo ass ain't makin sense, and it ain't cause I'm da slow kid.
It's cause yo ass knows what's comin. Yo ass knows dat dis slow kid WILL fight back, and will kick yo everlovin ass.
Harvester of Sorrow?
More like Harvester of Bullshit.
King of Cruelty?
More like King of Crybabies.
Master of Oblivion?
More like Master of Avoiding the Obvious.
And what's obvious is dat you ain't got da cajones to just shut up and fight.
I ain't goin ‘home’ tonight, Corey. I'm goin to da ring. If you can find yo way around da bitchin and whinin, meet me out dere, and try ta do sumpin dat’ll get other companies ta notice ya for da right reasons.
Hammerstein (in his best Jamaican accent): Hey, Corey, whatcha smokin, mon?
Whatever it is, dude, you musta got hold of some stout stuff ta bake yo brain to da point dat yo ass hallucinatin like you are.
Maybe it's da paranoia got yo ass tinkin I'm stalkin ya. Yeah, I been in a buncha different companies. Lion's Road, GoL, Seattle Pro, ECWF, DARC, WWH, and da UKWF.
Dat ain't me stalkin ya. Dat's companies actually wantin me in dey company. Now ya may not know what dat feels like, Corey, havin other companies take interest in ya. Dat's because most wrestlin companies don't want primadonna bitches, whether dey been longest reignin champions or not.
But, Corey, dey didn't come lookin fo me. See, dude, not long ago, I put together a list of companies I wanted ta work for, kinda like a bucket list. I ran da roads and flew da friendly, and not-so-friendly skies, puttin myself out dere for da people. I won some, and I lost some. But I got my ass out dere and I fought. I didn't stay at home, clutchin my title close ta my chest. Hell, dude, I fought my way inta World Title matches in several of dese companies, including twice wit da King of Lions Champion, Julian Cutlass, who if i ain't mistakin, ya never fought one damn time.
Now why would a record breakin champion not wanna take da step to da top title in da company?
Why? Cause ya don't REALLY want it, do ya? Oh, ya say ya get no respect, and dat ya didn't get da opportunities ya deserve. But ya gotta be twice baked like a potato ta tink a champion wit yo record wouldn't get a World Title match. Dude, I heard da backstage whispers.
Ya didn't wanna match wit da Champ, cause he'd expose yo weaknesses just like he did everbody elses.
Yo ego was so fragile, ya couldn't cinch yo sack up enough ta step in da ring, cause ya knew yo ass would get da shit beat out of it.
But ta hear yo side of it, da company’s holdin ya back.
(Mimicking Cruelty ) ‘Dey don't promote me. Dey don't push me. Dey don't appreciate me.’
Well, I ain't speaking fo dem, but I don't appreciate yo bitch ass attitude.
If what you smokin was good, I would thunk it would made you more chill, but you know us slow kids. I just don't get it.
Another ting I just don't get is how, if I'm Lion's Road’s “golden boy,” like you say, den how is beatin me now worth less dan beatin me back den when I was a nobody?
None a dis makes sense ta me, but it ain't cause yo ass ain't makin sense, and it ain't cause I'm da slow kid.
It's cause yo ass knows what's comin. Yo ass knows dat dis slow kid WILL fight back, and will kick yo everlovin ass.
Harvester of Sorrow?
More like Harvester of Bullshit.
King of Cruelty?
More like King of Crybabies.
Master of Oblivion?
More like Master of Avoiding the Obvious.
And what's obvious is dat you ain't got da cajones to just shut up and fight.
I ain't goin ‘home’ tonight, Corey. I'm goin to da ring. If you can find yo way around da bitchin and whinin, meet me out dere, and try ta do sumpin dat’ll get other companies ta notice ya for da right reasons.